Which Type of Love Defines You?

1. Components of Love
2. What Are the 8 Types of Love?
3. Comparison of Love Types
4. Strengths Weakness and Solutions
5. Causes of Different Types of Love
6. Why should I know my Love Type?
7. Reflective Questions
8. Quiz on Love Types
9. FAQ - Sternberg's Types of Love

Components Of Love

Love is like a recipe with 3 key ingredients: Intimacy (emotional closeness), Passion (romantic spark), and Commitment (staying together). Depending on how these ingredients mix, you get 8 different “flavors” of love.

1. Intimacy: The feeling of being close and connected. It’s about trust, sharing, and bonding emotionally.
2. Passion: This is physical attraction and romantic excitement.
3. Commitment: The decision to stick together and work on the relationship over time.

What are the 8 types of Love?

Here’s how the 3 components above combine to create 8 different kinds of love:

Non love

This is when there’s no connection at all—no closeness, no spark, and no commitment. It’s like someone you pass by on the street.

Liking

Liking is all about emotional closeness and trust but nothing romantic. Think of a best friend you share everything with but don’t feel romantic about.

Infatuation

Infatuation is all spark and excitement, but no emotional bond or plans for the future. It’s like having a crush or feeling “love at first sight."

Empty Love

Empty love sticks around out of duty or habit, but the closeness and excitement are gone. This can happen in long-term relationships that lose their connection.

Romantic Love

Romantic love mixes emotional closeness with physical attraction, but there’s no long-term commitment yet. It’s like the early, exciting phase of a new relationship.

Companionate Love

Companionate love is a deep emotional bond with loyalty, but the spark has faded. It’s like a marriage where you’re best friends, but the romance isn’t as strong anymore.

Fatuous Love

Fatuous love happens when passion and commitment come fast, but there’s no real emotional connection. It’s like a whirlwind romance or getting married after a month of dating.

Consummate Love

Consummate love is the ultimate balance of closeness, passion, and long-term dedication. It’s what people dream of in a happy, lasting relationship—but it takes work to keep it alive!

Love isn’t one-size-fits-all, and these types show how relationships can be so different. Which one sounds most like yours? Read on to find out! 😊

Comparison of Love Types

Strengths, Weaknesses and Solutions

By combining these components in different ways, Sternberg identifies eight types of love, each with its own strengths, challenges, real-life examples and solutions.

1. Non-Love (None)

• What it is: A neutral relationship where intimacy, passion, and commitment are absent. This is typical in casual acquaintances or interactions with strangers.
• Example Scenario:
  • A brief interaction with a cashier or a colleague you barely know.
• Strengths:
  • Straightforward and without emotional complications.
• Challenges:
  • Lacks any meaningful connection or potential for growth.
• Solution:
  • To build a deeper connection, initiate small talk or engage in shared activities that encourage trust and familiarity.

2. Liking (Intimacy Only)

• What it is: A relationship rooted in emotional closeness and trust but without romantic feelings or long-term commitment. This is often seen in deep friendships.
• Example Scenario:
  • A best friend who knows your secrets and supports you unconditionally but with whom there’s no romantic interest.
• Strengths:
  • Offers emotional support, understanding, and companionship.
  • Can serve as a foundation for more profound relationships over time.
• Challenges:
  • Lacks passion or commitment, which may prevent it from evolving beyond friendship.
• Solution:
  • If you wish to deepen the relationship romantically, explore whether mutual passion or commitment could naturally develop through intentional time spent together.

3. Infatuation (Passion Only)

• What it is: A relationship driven by physical attraction or romantic excitement without emotional closeness or long-term plans. Often associated with crushes or "love at first sight."
• Example Scenario:
  • A whirlwind crush on someone where you feel intense attraction but haven’t developed an emotional connection yet.
• Strengths:
  • Brings excitement, energy, and a sense of adventure to life.
  • Can act as the initial spark for deeper love if other components develop.
• Challenges:
  • Unsustainable without intimacy or commitment; often fades quickly.
  • May lead to impulsive decisions based solely on attraction.
• Solution:
  • Focus on cultivating intimacy by spending quality time together and engaging in meaningful conversations.

4. Empty Love (Commitment Only)

• What it is: A relationship where partners remain committed but lack emotional closeness or physical passion. This can occur in long-term relationships where the initial spark has faded or in arranged marriages.
• Example Scenario:
  • A couple in an arranged marriage who stay together out of obligation but haven’t yet developed emotional closeness or romantic feelings.
• Strengths:
  • Provides stability and responsibility within the relationship.
  • May serve as a starting point to rebuild intimacy or passion over time.
• Challenges:
  • Feels hollow without emotional connection or attraction.
  • Can lead to dissatisfaction and resentment over time.
• Solution:
  • Reignite intimacy by engaging in open communication and bonding activities while exploring ways to rekindle passion through date nights or new experiences.

5. Romantic Love (Intimacy + Passion)

• What it is: A combination of emotional closeness and physical attraction but without long-term plans yet. This type of love often occurs in the early stages of romantic relationships.
• Example Scenario:
  • A couple who has been dating for a few months shares deep conversations and strong physical chemistry but hasn’t discussed long-term plans like marriage.
• Strengths:
  • Combines emotional depth with physical excitement for fulfilling experiences.
  • Builds strong connections between partners while maintaining passion.
• Challenges:
  • Lacks stability without commitment, making it potentially short-lived.
  • Can result in heartbreak if one partner seeks commitment while the other does not.
• Solution:
  • Have open discussions about future goals to determine if commitment aligns for both partners.

6. Companionate Love (Intimacy + Commitment)

• What it is: A relationship built on deep trust, loyalty, and long-term dedication but lacking physical passion. This is common in stable marriages or lifelong friendships where the initial excitement has diminished over time.
• Example Scenario:
  • An elderly couple married for decades who share a deep bond but no longer experience the same level of romantic excitement they once had.
• Strengths:
  • Provides stability and mutual support, especially in later stages of life.
  • Built on shared values and trust, making it highly dependable and enduring.
• Challenges:
  • Lacks excitement, which may lead to feelings of monotony for some individuals.
  • May be mistaken for “falling out of love” if passion is highly valued in the relationship.
• Solution:
  • Reignite passion by trying new activities together, planning date nights, or exploring ways to rekindle physical intimacy.

7. Fatuous Love (Passion + Commitment)

• What it is: A relationship characterized by intense physical attraction and quick commitment but lacking emotional depth or intimacy. Often associated with whirlwind romances or impulsive decisions like eloping after a brief courtship.
• Example Scenario:
  • A couple who gets married after only knowing each other for a few weeks due to intense physical chemistry but struggles later when deeper emotional issues arise.
• Strengths:
  • Creates dramatic and exciting dynamics in the short term.
  • Encourages decisive action and strong initial bonds between partners.
• Challenges:
  • Lacks emotional closeness, making the relationship unstable over time.
  • Often unsustainable as passion fades without intimacy to support it.
• Solution:
  • Build intimacy by spending quality time together and learning more about each other’s values, goals, and emotions.

8. Consummate Love (Intimacy + Passion + Commitment)

The Ideal Type of Love: Consummate love represents the perfect balance of all three components—intimacy, passion, and commitment—and is considered the most fulfilling form of love.

• What it is: The ultimate form of love that combines emotional closeness, physical attraction, and long-term dedication into one balanced relationship.
• Example Scenario:
  • A happily married couple who share deep trust, strong romantic passion, and unwavering commitment to their future together.
• Strengths:
  • Deeply satisfying; fosters mutual growth, happiness, and long-term connection.
  • Combines all three components for a complete partnership that feels fulfilling on every level.
• Challenges:
  • Requires consistent effort from both partners to maintain balance over time.
  • The pressure to sustain this "ideal love" can feel overwhelming if one partner struggles with one component.
• Solution:
  • Maintain balance by continuously communicating needs, nurturing intimacy through quality time, keeping passion alive with new experiences, and reaffirming shared goals for the future.

Ideal Love Type... Consummate love!

By striving toward consummate love, couples can build relationships that are deeply satisfying and enduring, but it’s important to remember that every relationship is unique, and even partial types of love have their own value.

Causes of Different Types of Love

1. Personal Background: Past experiences and upbringing shape how we approach intimacy, passion, and commitment.
2. Timing: Relationships evolve over time, naturally shifting between types of love.
3. External Factors: Stress, work, or life challenges can influence which love components thrive or falter.

Why should I know my Love Type?

• Improved Communication: Helps couples discuss what they need from each other.
• Stronger Bonds: Identifying gaps to clarify gap areas to work on.
• Better Self-Awareness: Recognizing your love style can guide you in choosing compatible partners.

Reflective Questions

1. Which type of love describes your current relationship?
2. Are there areas—intimacy, passion, or commitment—you’d like to improve?
3. How can you and your partner work together to create more balance?

By understanding these types of love, you can take meaningful steps to nurture relationships that are both fulfilling and long-lasting!

Frequently Asked Questions About Sternberg's Types of Love

Understanding the dynamics of love can be complex, but these frequently asked questions provide clarity on how relationships evolve and adapt based on Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love.

By understanding how relationships shift and adapt based on these components, you can better navigate your own connections and work toward building meaningful, lasting bonds!

Quiz On Love Types

8 types of Love Quiz

Stay tuned for the next Relationship Blog Post!